Last updated on February 17th, 2024 at 09:47 pm
Let’s face it. At some point, most men are going to get a house. If you live anywhere other than a major city, the likelihood that you may get a plot of land is (hopefully) something that you have on your radar. As I write this article, I’m sitting in my apartment. I can tell you, without a doubt, that I don’t want to be doing this for the next 5 years. There’s something about having your own space that is freeing and exhilarating. But it helps a lot more when you’re not paying a house bill for a 1 bedroom apartment that you can never own. Having a house is WAY better. It’s like having your domain in which you can be king… and you can have a smoker.
As a sidenote, I’ve been wanting to smoke me a log of baloney for months now. I have to get a buddy at work to do it for me because my apartment complex doesn’t allow smokers! For real. What’s the point of a deck balcony if you can’t smoke a good baloney chub on it?! Regardless. It is what it is. But, when I get my own place, I’m already thinking about how I’m going to need to secure it. The fact of the matter is that not all people have moral compasses pointing in the right direction. As a man, you are responsible for protecting what is yours, whether it be your wife, kids, house, land… or really nice meat smoker.
Be as it may, not all men are tech-savvy. It’s perfectly fine. I’m probably going to geek out and have remote cameras and locks and laser tripwires, but you don’t have to. In fact, today we’re going to look at 6 ways to protect your pad that don’t require you to have insane tech ability. Now… I highly recommend every get a Ring doorbell camera, but other than that piece of tech, everything else below should pretty much be sufficient. Let’s dive in.
Plant some thorn bushes.
In the house I grew up in, we had holly bushes under the windows. I HATED those jokers. I’d be playing basketball in the driveway, and the ball would somehow roll into the bushes and I’d have to go get it. Being that I wasn’t wearing anything except sneakers and some basketball shorts, it was always quite interesting.
In all seriousness though, planting bushes with sharp thorns or prickly leaves under your windows serves a dual purpose. Firstly, they act as a natural barrier, making it challenging for potential intruders to get through these entry points. Secondly, in the unfortunate event of a break-in, these plants can aid in evidence gathering. The thorns can snag traces of skin, blood, or torn fabric from the intruder, which can be crucial for tracking them down. Varieties like holly, rose, or berry bushes are excellent choices, but remember that it’s important to select a type of bush that thrives in your local climate.
Get a guard dog.
I once helped a rich kid do their homework back when I was in high school. They went to a private school out in the country and lived in a part of town I’d never been to. $300 was $300, so I decided if nothing else I’d get a little spending cash and get to see a cool house. What I did not expect was the HUGE German shepherd in the foyer when I walked in. Absolutely. Massive. Apparently, the dog had been trained overseas with the guard dogs of some European baron or duchess or something. I didn’t pay too much attention to the explanation. I was too busy watching that dog watch me.
A dog not only offers loyal companionship but also serves as an effective layer of security for your home. Smaller dogs, despite their size, contribute significantly as their barking alerts homeowners to potential dangers and can deter an intruder from even attempting to enter. Many burglars admit to bypassing homes with dogs to avoid setting off these natural alarm systems. For those seeking an added level of protection, choosing a breed known for its courage, intelligence, and protective nature is ideal. Breeds such as Boxers, Bullmastiffs, Doberman Pinschers, German Shepherds, and Rottweilers are highly recommended for their exceptional guarding abilities.
Buy some floodlights.
My grandma was really big on motion-activated lights. She lived out in the woods and had a bunch of guineas and chickens. She swore the lights kept the coyotes, coons, and possums at bay at night. I figure I’ll just defer to her on that one. I generally wasn’t a big fan of the guineas. They were loud, dumb, and the ugliest-looking birds you had ever seen. But, I loved my grandma, so I learned to tolerate her guineas.
Installing motion-activated floodlights around dimly lit areas of your property enhances security by increasing visibility. These lights are designed to turn on automatically when their sensors detect movement, making them an effective deterrent. Opt for solar-powered motion-detecting lights to ensure continuous operation, even during power outages, maintaining the protective illumination around your home.
Reinforce your doors.
I have a security bar that I put beneath the door handle on my apartment door every night before I go to bed. It was actually passed down to me from my parents, who used it when they had their first apartment in Clemson. The way I see it, I’m not the only person who has keys to access this house, so I’d like to have a bit of a heads-up if someone decides they’d like to make an unannounced visit.
You see, doors typically have several vulnerabilities. One is located at the strike plate on the door frame, where the latch or deadbolt connects. Another weak point is around the deadbolt, and a third is at the door hinges. These areas are often where doors fail under forced entry, such as kicking or ramming. Strengthening these susceptible spots can be achieved with a door reinforcement kit. These kits use metal plates to fortify these weak areas, significantly enhancing the door’s ability to resist physical force and prevent breakage. Kits are available for various door types, including standard and French doors.
Reinforce your windows.
On the same subject of entryways into the home, it also helps that I’m not on the first floor. Since I have a security bar, unless someone decides they want to see me enough to scale a wall to get to my window, I figure I’m pretty safe.
That being said, some windows are inherently more susceptible to break-ins. This includes certain double-hung windows, where both the upper and lower sashes are operable, often featuring less robust latches that can be forced open externally with tools like a crowbar. Similarly, sliding or patio doors are prone to security breaches due to their simple latch locks, which can be manipulated or even jimmied open. Moreover, these sliding doors can be removed from their tracks with relative ease.
Enhancing the security of these entry points can be effectively achieved by installing pin locks. A pin lock functions like a secure pin inserted between the movable and stationary parts of a window or door, preventing any unwanted movement. While the installation of pin locks is straightforward, care should be taken to avoid drilling into the glass. It’s advisable to view an instructional video for proper guidance. Additionally, for sliding doors, options like loop locks offer further reinforcement.
Keep your yard open.
I never understood those yards with all the yard ornaments and trees and bushes scattered randomly throughout them. In the fall, you have all the leaves that have to be mulched. In the summer, you can’t cut your grass in straight rows because you constantly have to do loop-de-loops around trees and shrubs. Around the holidays you have to peek around the blow-up, lit-up, 12-foot-tall Santa to see who’s in your driveway. It’s definitely not ideal. And it’s not ideal from a security standpoint either.
Ensure that your landscaping doesn’t offer concealment or hiding places for intruders. Regularly trim or, if necessary, replace trees and shrubs to maintain clear visibility, making it more difficult for potential criminals to approach your house unnoticed.
So boom. There you have it. There are 6 no-tech ways to protect your home. You literally have no excuse now. Go buy a $30 security bar and cut down that nasty-looking overgrown shrub in your front yard. Take some time this weekend to plant some thorny holly bushes under the windows on the first floor of your home. If you’re brave, go get a security dog that puts the fear of God into any potential perps. Personally… I like to enjoy OTHER people’s dogs instead of taking care of my own. I’ve been there and done that, but that’s a story for another time. And, once you’ve done all that, go get a nice meat smoker, a bottle of mustard, some dirty bird rub, a log of baloney, and some cherry wood pellets. Give it 8 hours and it’ll change your life.
