Be a man among them.

What is love?

For those of you who may not know, I’m somewhat of a music buff. I think I got it from my pops, but, for whatever reason, I enjoy listening to a wide variety of music. I have playlists that have black gospel, bluegrass, rock, and country all rolled into one. I have playlists that have 50s, 60s, and 70s music.  I can go from listening to 80s hair bands to 1940s slow dance to African choirs to indie folk writers without missing a beat (no pun intended).  The music streaming service that I used informed me last year, in my end-of-the-year listening report, that I had listened to over 3000 different artists in 2023 alone. Like I said… I like music. I occasionally get in the mood for a genre deep-dive, and during one of these, I decided to explore early 90s UK dance music.  It was then I discovered a popular song that came about in 1993 by a singer who went by the name of Haddaway. He was a one-hit wonder, and his song that took ‘93 by storm was “What is Love”.  It’s the song that starts what is love, baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.

Evidently, Haddaway hasn’t found love yet, for he still appears today to be single, but the song evidently struck a chord with a lot of people (pun absolutely intended), as it reached Number 1 in 13 countries, and almost made it into the Top 10 in the US.  Now, people probably weren’t listening to “What is Love” for the answer to that very deep question.  Rather, they were probably just looking for something to dance to. However, it’s my earnest belief that in every person’s life, at some point, even if they’ve never heard of Haddaway, the question, “What is love?” comes to their mind.  God gave humans the ability to love and the desire to be loved, and thus, it is a subject that we all must grapple with at some point.

I’ve heard of people who supposedly lack the ability to love. I’ve heard of psychologists diagnosing people with something called depersonalization disorder, which supposedly means the person is unable to feel or give love. Someone I personally love very much has a phrase for that… that’s “baloney sandwich”.  That’s a load of garbage.

No baby comes out of the womb with the inability to love. The ability to love is indeed something that can be molded and shaped by a sin-cursed world, but a total lack of it is not natural.  How do I know this?  Let’s look in the Bible…

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

Matthew 22:37

God commands us to love, therefore he equips every human who breathes air with the ability to do so.  This then begs us to ask, “What is love?”  What really is it?

We’re going to spend a couple of minutes examining this question, and hopefully we can walk away with a clearer picture of what love is, and how that knowledge can make us better stewards of God’s blessings and better servants of Jesus Christ.

There are many stories in the Bible that we could go to to see love.

  • (Genesis 22:6-14) We could talk about the love Abraham had for Isaac or the love that Jacob had for Joseph (Genesis 37:35).
  • (Ruth 1:16) We could look at how Ruth loved Naomi and clung to her. Then we can look at how Boaz took in Ruth and provided for her and loved her (Ruth 3-4).
  • (1 Samuel 20) We could look at the love that Jonathan had for his best friend David, warning him of Saul’s attempt to kill David, and urging David to flee to safety.
  • (Luke 15) We could examine the love of the father for his prodigal son, running to meet him and welcome him home 
  • (Luke 7) We could explore the love of the woman who washed Jesus’s feet with her hair
  • We could talk about the love of Jesus, shown repeatedly from the time he taught in the temple, to the time he ascended into glory during his transfiguration.

Maybe at some point we can do a deep dive into those individual instances, but right now, I want us to focus on the meat and potatoes found in each of those stories. The common thread that all of them share. Indeed, if we can grasp what we’re about to get into, it’ll blow the Bible up in a way you may have never seen before.

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

When I was a counselor at the Wilds Camp in NC in the summer of 2022, this was the passage that my team, the green team, prioritized all summer long.  In our morning meetings, while all the kids were asleep, we’d meet out in the campsite, pray with each other, lift up concerns and praises, and remind ourselves of these verses specifically.  Nothing’ll test your patience like a group of adolescent boys away from their parents for a week. Trust me. These verses came to my mind many times in those moments where I want to wring someone’s head off, or scold, or yell. They also made an appearance when I dealt with confessions of addictions, abuse, anger, depression, and the myriad of other things that God allowed me to see in those kids.

The original word that was translated as “Charity” in this passage is the word agape. It means love.  Sadly, love is a word that has been so twisted by our culture today, that I doubt that some even know its true meaning anymore. 

Some use the word love to express their interests

  • I love fishing on the weekend…
  • I love that book series…
  • I love Gunsmoke and Andy Griffith…

Some use the word love to express their satisfaction.

  • I love Food Lion. They had a 2-for-1 deal last week on baked ham!
  • I love the folks over at Autozone.  They always have the parts I need!
  • I love the way that dress looks!

Some use the word love to get what they want 

  • A kid’ll tell another kid at lunch that he LOVES peanut M&Ms, even if he really doesn’t. The kid has no feelings toward peanut M&Ms, but he’s extra hungry that day, he doesn’t have anything to snack on, and he wants to get some of someone else’s.
  • In college, a student’ll tell a professor they love the professor’s lecture style.  In reality, they couldn’t care less about it, they just need the prof to view them in a positive light when he considers curving the final grade
  • In the dating game, boys have no problem lying to a girl, telling her they love her, to sleep with her. I received that exact piece of advice from a grown man with kids the other week.

The media we consume perpetuates the lie about love even further. Advertisements tell us we’ll love the deal, or love the product. Movies tell us that love is kisses and butterflies and sex. Musicians sing of love brought on through hazes of alcohol, late nights, and loneliness. That’s basically Taylor Swift’s entire shtick at this point.

It’s almost as if there is an organized effort in our world today to distract and detract from the true meaning of love.  The TRUE meaning of love is found here in 1 Corinthians 13.

Patient Love

Firstly, we see that true love involves patience. It SUFFERETH long and is kind

Love that doesn’t suffer long is nothing more than infatuation.  Part of the reasons we have the problems we do today is because people build relationships based on fleeting feelings rather than fortified foundations. They choose to build a relationship on a house of cards and matchsticks. This is wrong. You have to take the time to pour the concrete and lay the bricks. Many today don’t have the kind of love that weathers good times and bad. They don’t have a love that overlooks quirks and pet peeves. They don’t have a love that exhibits grace and forgiveness. To have a patient love, the love has to go deeper than the skin.  It takes time to build that foundation of trust. It takes patience. God loves us with a deep and patient love because he knows us. Some of us though are like the seed fallen on the bad earth in Matthew 13.  We love God until the pleasures of the world eat us up, or the lusts of the world choke us out. We don’t take the time nor have the patience to root ourselves in the good, rich soil of God’s Word and God’s Will.

I find, the more time I spend, and the more I grow and learn about the Lord, the more I grow to love Him.

It’s important to note that patient love is not a one-size-fits-all all statement. 

A patient love with a child will look different than a patient love with a parent. A patient love with a spouse will look different than a patient love with a coworker. However, with all of them, patient love implies you look past how a situation feels or looks in the moment and you respond according to the principles of the Lord rather than the principles of the flesh.

There were many times I smarted off as a kid to my parents. I made mistakes that I later regretted. There were times I said or did things that made them sad or angry. They could have shut me out. They could have shut me down. But, they looked past the present moment, held to the statement that love is patient, and were an example of godliness. 

Does that mean they let me walk over them? No! 

Does that mean I didn’t receive proper correction? No!

It just means they didn’t respond to my sin by committing sin of their own. They chose to love instead. And, through that love, came correction the right way. Through that love came examples and life lessons.

As I grow older, and I see my parents more as friends rather than final authorities, the dynamic shifts. There are situations where we disagree. Neither side of the argument is unbiblical, but we differ. No longer is it a situation where you have to love someone who is acting wrongly, but you have to love past your personal preferences.  You have to love out of the respect that you have for the other person.  And that doesn’t mean you bow over and disregard your feelings. When it comes to fellow humanity, loving someone doesn’t mean that you acquiesce to their every whim. You don’t have to always march to the beat of their drum.  But your love for them should allow you to value their opinion enough to patiently entertain and consider it. 

The same goes for coworkers, spouses, and so on and so forth.  Remember… 

Patient love implies you look past how a situation feels or looks in the moment and you respond according to the principles of the Lord rather than the principles of the flesh.

Samuel Howell

Humble Love

Next, we see that charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

There is something really cool about this part of the verse that I’d never seen before I studied for this message. 

Question…. When you envy, what do you do?  You look at someone you perceive as being above you in status, wealth, acclaim, etc. and you sinfully desire to have what THEY have, rather than what the Lord has blessed you with.

Let’s look at 1 Kings 21 for an example of this…

21 And it came to pass after these things, that Naboth the Jezreelite had a vineyard, which was in Jezreel, hard by the palace of Ahab king of Samaria.

2 And Ahab spake unto Naboth, saying, Give me thy vineyard, that I may have it for a garden of herbs, because it is near unto my house: and I will give thee for it a better vineyard than it; or, if it seem good to thee, I will give thee the worth of it in money.

3 And Naboth said to Ahab, The Lord forbid it me, that I should give the inheritance of my fathers unto thee.

4 And Ahab came into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him: for he had said, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. And he laid him down upon his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no bread.

1 Kings 21:1-4

Ahab was a king. He had more than most men could dream of, yet he desired something he could not obtain. The sale of paternal inheritance was forbidden by divine law (Le 25:23, Nu 36:7). Naboth rightfully refused and Ahab acted like a petulant, whiny child. Thus, his envy for a vegetable garden he couldn’t have led to the unrighteous stoning of Naboth, and, eventually the righteous death of both him and his wife Jezebel.  Envy is nothing to kid around with.

Now that we understand the envy aspect, let’s look at the puff up…

Question… When you puff up, what do you do? You look at someone you perceive as being below you in status, wealth, acclaim, etc. and you sinfully take pride in the belief you have something valuable that they don’t.

Let’s look real quick at Luke for an example of this….

9 And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:

10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.

11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.

12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

Luke 18:9-14

When you see the word publican in the Bible, I want you to think PUBLIC servant.  In almost all cases these were tax collectors. They were seen as greedy, corrupt, and generally unpleasant people. Power-drunk, there were cases where they’d steal money, skimming off the top of the taxes, or sometimes they’d frame people, misreporting their pay-in amount.

So this publican is seen as the least in Jewish culture. The trash. The turncoat traitor. The thorn in everyone’s side. Is in the temple with who? The Pharisee. 

I need you to see the contrast again here. Publican. Least of the least. Vile. Disgusting. Representative of the oppression of the Roman Empire. Then there is the PHARISEE. Blessed by God. Knowledgeable in all things. Clean. Pure. Representative of the model Christian.

But the Pharisee has a big problem here… he isn’t practicing a core tenant of Christ’s teachings. He isn’t exhibiting a key portion of what it means to follow the Lord. How do we know this?  He’s puffed up.  Note that he relates all the OUTWARD things that he does to his love of God. His fasting, his tithes.  Not his inward attitude. 

It’s funny today how so many “model” Christians suffer the same problem. We don’t want certain people in our churches. We don’t want the homeless, the druggies, the convicts. The tattooed guy with ripped jeans and flip-flops. Or the girl showing too much cleavage with all the piercings. Or the kid that runs when he’s supposed to walk and is always too loud. Or the adult who smells bad and who’s just there for free food. We don’t want those types.   And we won’t say it all the way out loud, but it’s evident by the comments we give, or the glances we steal, or the way we structure services and get-togethers. Did the Lord design it that way? Did He want us to shun people? Did He model that for us?

I’ve found that if I show the love of Christ, and someone sees that love and accepts it for themselves, then THEIR newfound love for Christ leads them to make changes in their life. I don’t have to browbeat or lecture anyone into submission. God convicts and God guides his children. I know men who’ve sworn off swearing when they found the Lord. I know people who’ve dumped their entire music catalogs and trashed their home theaters because of all the junk that was in them. It’s God’s job to clean people up, not mine and yours. You can offer suggestions and guidance, but not at the expense of loving someone the way Jesus loves them, and that love doesn’t depend on outward action and appearance.

Speaking of that, do you want to know if your love for others has been clouded by a puffed up spirit? When you think about how you love Christ, do you think of all the OUTWARD things that you do for him, in comparison to other people?  Do you consider your mode of dress, your involvement in various activities, and your involvement in various ministries as the litmus test for your walk with Christ?  If so, you’re wrong. There’s nothing wrong with being involved, you SHOULD. But you should never approach it with a spirit of “I do, and they don’t, so that makes me better”

Everyone is the same height at the foot of the cross. No man stands taller than the other in the eyes of Jesus. And it’s the HEART attitude that matters most.

Samuel Howell

Unselfish Love

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own,

Another way to say this is love doesn’t behave dishonorably or act unbecomingly.  This is the only time the word unseemly is used this way in the Bible. It brings out a good point because sometimes people allow their love for another to cause them to behave in a way they shouldn’t.

This is a bit different than the other statements we’ve already discussed. 

  • It’s hard to love someone so much that I am tempted to puff myself up and look down on them. 
  • It’s hard to love someone so much that I am tempted to always be ugly and impatient with them.
  • It’s NOT hard to love someone so much that I am tempted to behave dishonorably.

What does it mean to be dishonorable?  Merriam-Webster says it means “to lack honor, to be shameful”. To be shameful is to feel the feeling of shame.

Well duh Sam…. hold on. Stick with me here.

I know of many young men who have allowed their “love” for a girl to dishonor her.  They have brought the feeling of shame on themselves and her by crossing lines they had no business crossing outside of the marriage relationship. 

There are couples out there who believe they feel such a feeling of love that they simply have to consummate it outside of the bounds established by God.  They want to complete the relationship in every last detail. In the right context, this is how God planned it and designed it. In a spousal love relationship, you are expected and encouraged to partake in that completeness. Our problem is we like to skip steps sometimes. Why?  Because we’re seeking our own.  

It’s like I told someone one time… if you’re content to drink the milk without buying the cow, you’ve mistaken selfishness and self-centeredness for love.  You want what you want, and you’re willing to dishonor another and rip purity to shreds to get it.  That is the textbook definition of acting unbecomingly, isn’t it?

It’s important to note that this pitfall doesn’t only befall those struggling with sexual temptation. You can love someone so much that you’re blinded to the facts, and you behave dishonorably by being an enabler for bad habits and vices.

Parents and grandparents can love their kids, but if they help fund their kid’s moral and physical demise, then they are exhibiting a love that behaves unseemingly. If you know your teenage grandson is taking the car out on Friday nights to get rip-roaring drunk at the football game after-party, then your love for him should prohibit you from allowing him to borrow the keys.  Buying your daughter the latest fashion, even though it’s revealing and scandalous, is not supporting and loving her. It’s encouraging her objectification in the eyes of others. This is acting unbecoming of the role model you ought to be.

This same thing applies to friend relationships, teacher/student relationships, coworker relationships, and so on…

Do not allow the love you feel for someone to compromise your morals and how you live your life for Christ. Loving someone doesn’t mean that you are willing to be repeatedly taken advantage of.  Nor does it mean that you are willing to take advantage of them!

If you choose to act unbecomingly, or do something that will bring shame to your name or the name of another, then you are not loving as Jesus loved.  

Samuel Howell

Resilient Love

is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Love forgives. That’s the key idea here. What do you do when you forgive? You let go of the malice in your heart. You let go of the anger and bitterness, even if it’s warranted.  Even if you’ve truly been wronged by no fault of your own, you let it go.  You remove the enactment of justice from your lips and your hands, and you transfer it to God.  You decide that you won’t be the one to give anyone payback.  Instead, you’re going to give it to God. 

19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Romans 12:19

The Bible says we are to give place to our wrath. We can feel it in the moment, but we don’t act on it. Instead, we give it to God.

So… what AM I supposed to do then Sam?

As I’ve said before, voids will always be filled.  You can’t simply remove something from your life without putting something else in its place. When we remove wrong attitudes, we must replace them with the right ones.  If I remove the anger, what am I to replace it with? Love. 

I know this to be true because the Bible tells me that love is not easily provoked. It doesn’t seek evil on another, as anger might. Love is the replacement. Exhibiting love towards someone who has wronged me would be much better in the eyes of the Lord. How do we exhibit this love?  Through grace (not being easily provoked) and forgiveness (thinking no evil). We can see Jesus give a commandment of this specific love right here in Scripture…

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Matthew 18: 21-22

Did you catch it? Both grace and forgiveness are mentioned in those verses.  Let’s think about this…someone has sinned against Peter.  They’ve done him wrong. Does Jesus tell him to club them with a baseball bat?  Does he tell Peter to spread rumors about the person?  Does He tell Peter to yell at them, and curse them, and key their car? No. He says to forgive.  
Not only TO forgive, but to forgive SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN. To forgive is to thinketh no evil. To think no evil on a person who has wronged you 490 times is to not be easily provoked.  Lord knows some of us wouldn’t make it to Wrong Number 3 before we’d be ready to whup some tail! Now.. do you stop after the 490th time! No.  Jesus is using hyperbole. He is dramatizing it a bit.

You keep on forgiving others because God keeps on forgiving you when you fall. You keep on loving others because God keeps on loving you.

Samuel Howell

Truthful Love

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

The word iniquity there means unrighteousness and injustice.  If you are loving others the way God loves them, you will not rejoice when they are victims of injustice and wrongdoing. It is one thing to rejoice in righteous justice.  It’s another to rejoice in evil.  All throughout Psalms we see David rejoicing in God’s righteous justice, but we never see him rejoicing in an unrighteous act. 

 Case in point…  I want to see certain politicians held accountable.  I despise the way in which things are being handled in the upper echelons of our government. That said, should I rejoice if one of these people’s homes is vandalized, or they are robbed, or they are slandered for something they didn’t do?  The old sinner in me wants them to feel that pain and hurt. He wants them to understand the reality of their policies, rather than hiding in their gated neighborhoods and security detail caravans. He wants them to get slandered just as they slander others. This isn’t love. It’s rejoicing in iniquity.  I would do better to rejoice in the truth that one day God will perform righteous judgment on these people.

In the New Testament (in which 1 Corinthians is) the word that is translated to truth here, aletheia, takes on the additional meaning of divinely revealed truth. The truth of the gospel. We can corroborate this with other verses.

17 For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.

John 1:17

26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins

Hebrews 10:26

So…. when I rejoice in the truth, I’m rejoicing in the knowledge of the truth that came by Jesus Christ. I’m rejoicing in the gospel message. I’m essentially rejoicing in God’s word and will for my life! Can you see how much easier it would be to love others if you lived in a state of rejoicing in the Lord? If I’m rejoicing in the Lord (which could be an entirely different sermon) then I’m not going to be rejoicing in iniquity performed against others.

Are you rejoicing in the truth of the Lord today?  Or you rejoicing in the Word that you read?  Are you rejoicing in the life lessons that the Lord is teaching you, or are you still rejoicing in iniquity? If you can answer that question honestly, it will show you if you are loving the way the Lord intended.

Samuel Howell

Persevering Love

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

4 Verbs here that we need to highlight and pay attention to 

  1. Beareth – the idea of a roof or cover. Something that shields you.
  2. Believeth – to trust. To hold a correct perception of
  3. Hopeth – to expect. 
  4. Endureth -to remain standing. To establish. To set in position. To persevere 

I’ve always thought of bearing and enduring as the same thing, but they’re not!

I’ve heard phrases like “my cross to bear” or “my trial to endure” and I just kinda figured that the words were interchangeable, but we see here that there are some key differences, especially when it comes to having a love that bears all things and endures all things.

When you think about having a love that beareth all things, do you think you have the kind of love that can shield others? The kind of love where people feel safe around you because they know that you don’t look at them with ill intent and malice? This relationship is much more difficult to build than we may think. 

Shielding someone implies that you stand in a gap and you take a hit. It may be easier to show this love to your children, but what about a person you barely know? Do you love them enough to take the blow? Jesus was a prime example of a shielding love. He took the blows for me and for you when he took his cross to Calvary. This was before we even knew him. He took the blows for people he knew were going to reject him and curse him. And he also told us to do the same, when he said turn the other cheek.

39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Matthew 5:39

Enduring is a little bit different. This is talking about the idea of a love that remains standing when everything else tries to knock it down. This can primarily be exemplified in the love we should have for Christ. The devil walketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. The Bible says he is the prince of the power of the air. He is the one in control while we are here. And he is seeking to knock us down. And he is seeking to destroy the love we have for the Lord. 

Do you have a love that endures, or do you have a love that only stays strong when things are good? We see in the Bible that there were many who loved Jesus for his miracles, but there were fewer who loved him for the fact that he was the son of God. Do you only love Jesus for the miracles he’s worked in your life, or do you love him because he is in fact the son of God?

Let’s pull back a bit and look at the story of Job. Here’s a man who had a love that endured. He said though he slay me yet will I trust him.

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

Job 13:15

When his whole world got knocked down, and his own wife told him to curse God and die, he didn’t. He stood his ground. He maintained his faith in the Lord. He endured in his love for the Lord.

Friends, I think we are quickly coming to a time when we will have to endure our love for the Lord even more. The attempts to dissuade us and discourage us from following Jesus will only increase as the day of His second coming approaches. This is why it is so important that we grasp and understand this principle now. It’s important that we learn the importance of enduring love now.

As we live in this sin-cursed world, we may encounter circumstances that temporarily damage a relationship with a significant other. There may be instances where your love for a fellow church member, or believer, is strained. Maybe it’s your child, parent, or coworker. Can you practice the enduring love that Jesus taught us through the life he lived? Can you see it through the examples God provided in great heroes of the faith like Job?

Similar to endure and bear, hopeth and believeth also go together. 

Let’s be very clear, a love that believeth all things is not gullible or dumb. The idea here is that you will put your best foot forward. Godly love will try to believe the best of every situation. You can view the good, bad, and ugly objectively, but you will not sit and dwell on the negative if you have a believing love. You will look for the best in the situations God places you in and the people He places you with. The Lord has put people in my path who practice this principle in a way I never have personally. I’ve always said my natural bend is to be a pessimist. In my regular mode of operation, I tend to see the glass half-empty. I guess that’s why the Lord gave me the alternate.  He threw it right in front of my face and He said, “here’s how it’s supposed to be done, son. Live like that.”

Have a love that believes the best in people, not the worst.

Samuel Howell


In that same vein, Hopeth means to expect. In other words, a godly love will expect the best for and from people. As I alluded to earlier, I went through a stage of life where I expected little of others. Outside of those close to me, I had no expectations of good for people. My philosophy was, “if I don’t expect, I won’t have regret”  A lot of people live like this.  They fear the feeling of rejection or disappointment when people don’t live up to expectations, so they compensate by holding low standards, expecting nothing, or, even worse, expecting the worst. What do I do when I expect something? According to Merriam-Webster, I anticipate it and look forward to it. I consider it to be certain.  Should I consider it to be certain that people are out to get me?

Should I look forward to people wronging me, or anticipate people disregarding me and treating me as less than? Seems like a really bleak outlook on life doesn’t it? Seems like the kind of outlook that leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. People who expect the worst will be hypersensitive to “the worst”. Then, when what they consider to be “the worst” occurs, they will escalate and elevate the situation because THEY JUST KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. A mindset like that will sabotage your relationships with others and your relationship with God. 

Now… once again, we should not foolishly walk into a hungry lion’s den expecting the best, but we should be careful that we maintain an outlook where we expect the best from and for people. It is much easier to demonstrate the love of Christ when (pardon the pop culture reference) you realize that they too can live their best life if they choose to live it for the Lord. Show them His love, and eventually, they may want it for themselves.

Love is a ministry. No act of kindness goes unnoticed. No act of love will go unaccounted for. Considering some of us may be the only Jesus others ever see, its important that we take this truth to heart. What is love? This truth.

Love is sacrifice without expectation of reciprocation.

Samuel Howell

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