I decided to be spontaneous the week before Christmas. Originally, I had scheduled to take two days off from work before New Year’s. I was sitting in a code review meeting Monday morning when the idiocy of that plan hit me in full effect. Why would I trade days BEFORE Christmas for those after? My family would be off of work before Christmas, so I’d have time to spend with them. There were still lights to see. There were still holiday treats to make. I had a Christmas movie backlog I wanted to get through still. I wanted to enjoy the last couple of days properly. Coming home for Christmas is often overlooked in the hustle and bustle of today’s world, but it’s vitally important that we do so, so I decided I would.
I dropped by my boss’s office and asked to swap my vacation days, which he obliged. I then worked through the next three days as normal, packed my bags the night before my trip, and then hit the road after work on Wednesday. I got home just in time to surprise my parents at church that night. The bewildered look on my Mama’s face as I slid into the pew next to her that night made the entire drive worth it. Christmas truly is the BEST time of the year. However, this year is a first for me in a few ways.
This is my first Christmas out on my own. The song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” hit different this year. I’ve listened to that song countless times throughout my life, but there is something to be said about listening to it as you make the long trip home for the holidays for the first time. Coordinating a work schedule, fighting weather, and weathering through traffic to get home is an experience in and of itself. It’s worth it though. Driving back to my hometown and seeing all of my old friends and family is exciting and fun. It threw me into a nostalgic mood that I simultaneously wanted to stay in forever and get out of as soon as possible.
The fact of the matter is that life changes. People change and scenery changes. I’m learning that this isn’t a bad thing, but there are still times when I wish we lived in the old world, where families and friends grew together and stayed together. Being out on your own has benefits. You have the funds to buy nice watches and clothes, eat at fancy restaurants, and make your schedule. But, being a man of industry has its downsides too. Money is great and freedom is great, but the lack of stability troubles me at times. Walking into an empty home at night gets old. That’s why it’s good to take some time around the holidays to get back with family and build up those relationships, even if it is a little loud and chaotic.
This is the first Christmas where all of the family I love won’t be at the table. Papa’s passing in March has thrown a wrench into the normal Christmas festivities. I’d like to think that he’d take a minute to stop whatever he’s doing up there in heaven and look down to check on us on a special day like that, but who’s to say? I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to react. I became a bit choked up on the drive coming home thinking about it, but I just have to trust that the Lord is going to get us through it. The hardest part is going to be on Christmas day, as it is our tradition to all meet up at Grandma’s house for a big meal. Papa ALWAYS led the prayer. The thought never crossed my mind that one day he wouldn’t be there to do that.
Alas, that day has come. I don’t even know if we’ll be going over to Grandma’s this year. The atmosphere at her house is sad because Papa is everywhere and nowhere all at once. The pictures, his pots and pans, clothes, cologne, boots, and big chair. Everything is exactly as it was. Yet, he’s not there. She’s already said she doesn’t feel like she’s going to be up to doing anything that day. I don’t blame her at all.
If nothing else, coming home at Christmas reminds me of the importance and value of family. God gave us family because He knew each of us would need a support structure. Because of the fact of sin, we live in a world with some dysfunctional and broken families, but the idea of community and goodwill towards each other should still resonate, especially around the holidays. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of all the activity that leads right up to the Christmas season, yet it’s folly to waste your time on all of that. I was talking to a buddy at work the other day. He’ll be pulling 12-hour shifts every day up until Christmas to give his little kids all the presents they want. I fear one day he’ll realize the error in trading time and memories for money to be wasted on toys. Christmas is a time to be home, so go. If you can’t physically be there, call. We have 51 other weeks in the year to stack paper, make deals, and set up future successes.
I’ve learned this year, in a somewhat painful fashion, that you never know when the last time you’ll be able to make a memory with a loved one. Coming home for Christmas is one of the best times to make those memories. So, if you can, go do it. Finish out the year the right way.
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