Last updated on November 19th, 2023 at 04:47 am
I’m just gonna level with everyone off the jump… I’ve never understood the allure of alcohol. From the time I was in middle school, to now, I’ve had people try to convince me to give it a try. “Just a swig”, “just a beer”, “just a taste”, “just a sip”. I’ve heard it all. For some reason, I’ve held out. I vividly remember my papa asking me when I was a kid, “what happens to grain when a donkey digests it?” “It ferments in his stomach I suppose” was the response I gave. He then asked, “What color is mule pee son?”. “Yellow”, I replied. He said, “that’s why beer is the color it is. It ferments. And it tastes exactly like mule pee!” I’ve never verified his comparison, but Papa was a pretty smart man, so I have no reason to go against it.
On a more objective note, I guess I’ve never seen the appeal of it. My grandmother’s family all hailed from Reno, Nevada. Most of them were stereotypical trailer park trash drunks. There is an old picture in a family album of my great-grandfather passed out drunk upside down over the back of a couch on Christmas. Also in the picture is his young son, who would later become an alcoholic as well. The way he looked at his dad has always stuck with me. I can’t shake it. The innocence on his face as he looked upon something that would eventually destroy his life also serves as a constant reminder. It’s a reminder that my actions not only affect me but also those I love.
I know many of my family members who have struggled with drinking, and research shows that genes are responsible for about half of the risk for alcoholism. In all my years, I’ve heard plenty of stories of people trying to STOP drinking. They’ll get accountability partners, go to AA, make a big scene of pouring beers down the sink. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. In contrast, I’ve heard very few stories about people trying to START drinking. Seems like it’s one of those things that’s hard to stop once you get started, so I figure maybe I’m ahead of the 8-ball and I need to keep it that way.
Not only that, but I have yet to see the benefit. All those guys out drinking are putting on pounds in the form of a beer gut. They get nasty headaches in the morning, and then you ask them what they did the night before and they don’t remember. So much money is wasted on drinks. That money going towards fancy cocktails, liquor, and IPAs would be WAY better spent on your kids, your house, or your debts. Shoot, even things like a new dress for your SO, a new bike, some new shoes, etc.
I know of marriages that have ended in divorce because of a man’s drinking problem. I know kids who have become estranged because of a father’s drinking problem. Houses have been put into foreclosure, cars have been wrapped around trees, people have gone to jail for domestic abuse and manslaughter, and liver failure diagnoses have been given, all on account of some drink. Maybe I’m just a wimp, but all the things I just listed scare me.
But Sam… what about some harmless partying? You mean to tell me a party can’t be fun until you don’t remember it anymore? What sense does that make? Do you have to be tipsy before you can be comfortable enough in your own skin to be relaxed and have a good time? Seems like the alcohol is just covering up some deeper issues if that’s the case. Perhaps you need to take a look at our first point here…
Know Yourself
If you don’t know yourself, you will fail. That goes for any area of life.
A man who does not know himself cannot fully control himself.
That lack of control will manifest itself and cause issues at some point. As I said earlier, I know that alcoholism is somewhat influenced by my genes, and it would seem that my family struggles with it. Therefore, I can use all of two brain cells to determine that my genetic makeup would be working against my best interest if I decided to take a sip.
Not only that, but I know I have a smattering of OCD. This is a fact that I have discovered about myself. There are times it has helped me, such as when my OCD study habits allowed me to skip years of school. But, there are also times when it has hurt me, like when I would be compulsively pulled toward pornography. Knowing this, I know without a doubt that, if I tried alcohol and liked it, I would have put a thorn in my flesh that I would have to battle till the day I die.
You see, my compulsive tendencies make it hard to say no to things that I crave. I craved educational success, so I went through a period of compulsively studying. I craved heightened sexual release, so I went through a period of compulsively watching porn. As I write this, I am in a stage of life where I am craving the feeling of competency in my job, so I have been averaging 55 to 60-hour weeks for almost 9 months, trying to get to it as soon as possible. There is a compulsive desire to work. I feel guilty if I work less than 55 hours a week! It’s a problem I am actively working on. The point is this though… what happens if I end up craving alcohol? If I follow the pattern that I know about myself, then I will compulsively drink. This will significantly heighten my chances of becoming an alcoholic. This, of course, is no bueno.
Some of you are afraid to know yourselves because you’re afraid of what you might find. That’s probably a subject for another post, and we’ll no doubt get to it, but the principle is this: man up. I openly recognize both the traits of my life that I find attractive and distasteful. When you look in the mirror, you don’t tape a piece of paper on the mirror to cover the part of you you don’t like. Why? Well, because it’s foolish of course! Mirrors give you the full picture. It’s no different when you look at yourself inwardly. Take it all in, the good, bad, and ugly. Attempt to minimize your weaknesses and exaggerate your strengths. One of the ways I’ve attempted to minimize a weakness I know about myself has been to remove the option to drink from my presence if at all possible.
It’s not always easy. When my papa died tragically in a car crash in March, I wanted to check out so bad. I wanted to get rip-roaring drunk and forget about it all. It would have been easy. But then, in my head, I heard him ask me about mule pee again, and I staved off the temptation.
Know others
You don’t only have to be aware of yourself, but also those around you. Case in point, at the time of this writing, I work in a steel mill and live in Charleston, SC. Charleston, SC is ranked as the drunkest county in SC, with 23% of adults saying that they drink excessively. That’s almost 1 in 4. I see it with my own two eyes. There are 5 places in a quarter-mile radius of my apartment where I can get the goods to get absolutely plastered if I so choose.
Adding on top of that, I work in a mill. That means I work with a lot of fellas who’ve been “excessively drinking” since before I was born. It’s almost a cultural thing. A rite of passage. So when I turned 21 and STILL said no, you can imagine some of the questions I got. I was the only one on my team who didn’t. When I went out with work buddies, I was one of the few who didn’t partake. They couldn’t understand why a man of my age, making the money I make, living in the area I live, would not be drinking. My answer was very plain and simple.
“I don’t want to risk my son”. It’s always funny to watch people’s faces when I say that. Most immediately try to figure out if I’m a father, or they just stutter because that’s the last thing they expect me to say. It goes back to knowing others. To an extent, I know how my son will be because I know how I am. I’m not saying I know he’s going to have OCD, or like playing guitar, or have curly hair. But I do know that there will be a time in his life (hopefully a long time) when he will look up to me. Why? Because I look up to my Dad. Even now.
I’m going to be my son’s superhero. He’ll probably brag about me on the playground. He’s going to try to wear my boots and my dress shirt. He’s going to want to wear my aftershave and cologne. I know that’s how I viewed my father when I was a boy. Lord-willing, just as my dad did me, I’ll teach my son how to change the oil in his car, shoot a gun, take a girl out on a proper date, etc. With the Lord’s help though, one thing I won’t do is teach him how to drink.
This is the problem that many guys fall into when they say, “Well, I can handle it”. I have no doubt that some of them can. But what about your kids? How can you know if they’ll be able to handle it? It would torture me to no end to know that my kid looked at a bottle of alcohol and justified his first sip by saying, “Well, Dad can handle it, so I can too”. If it turns out they can’t handle it, you will bear part of the responsibility. Why? Because you put forth an example that opened your kid up to unnecessary dangers. I don’t want that on my conscience. I don’t want to risk my son.
Know your Bible
Lastly, and most importantly, you ought to know your Bible. Off the rip, let me emphasize that the Bible says nowhere explicitly “thou shalt not drink”. If a preacher or pastor ever says the Bible speaks against alcohol itself, he is not properly expounding the Scripture. Now, that being said, the Bible explicitly says that drunkenness is a sin. Considering the majority of people drink for the sole purpose of getting buzzed, drunk, tipsy, plastered, (choose whatever word you like), then we can see where drinking in and of itself would be unwise. Here are some key verses.
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
Ephesians 5:18
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.
Proverbs 20:1
Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying
Romans 13:13
Also, we see multiple times in the Bible where drunkenness led to even MORE sin and problems. Lot got drunk, slept with his daughters, and had incestuous children (Genesis 19:30-38). Noah’s nakedness was revealed to his son because he got plastered in his tent (Genesis 9:21-25). The examples go on and on.
In essence, the Bible seems to indicate that partaking in drinking isn’t wise. Therefore, I choose not to do it. That being said, look at what Paul has to say in 1 Corinthians 10:23:
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
1 Corinthians 10:23
Expedient basically means “appropriate”. Paul is saying there are a lot of things this world deems lawful that aren’t appropriate. There are a lot of things that the world deems lawful that don’t edify God. Think about some of the media that you hear in podcasts. Think about some of the ideas espoused in blockbuster films. These are things that may be lawful and acceptable in the eyes of the world, but they aren’t appropriate in God’s. They don’t edify and glorify Him. You can do it, but it doesn’t serve a higher purpose. I think drinking is definitely something that falls into this category.
I make many decisions by generating pro/con lists. I don’t always write them out. Oftentimes I simply weigh the benefits and detriments in my head, and whichever side weighs more is the side I fall on. When it comes to drinking, the negative FAR outweighs the positive. Being well-liked socially and/or being part of the “in” crowd doesn’t cancel out hangover headaches, beer guts, liver problems, rash decisions, altered brain state, bad parental examples, and all the other bad side effects of being drunk with alcohol. As Men of Might, we must avoid these things.
You should never take man’s word at face value, including mine. All decisions must be filtered through the lens of what God says through his Holy Word. You make your decision, and you stand by its consequences. For me, drinking is a hard pass.
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